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Monday, October 1, 2007

I Don't Need a Man

Photo by Lynn Davis

I posted on another site the following:

"You Need a Man to Take Care of You

I got told that the other day, and I laughed. . .and then agreed.
There was a time when I found statements like that insulting and offensive.

The way I take it now is that:

Yes, I absolutely need a partner to help me and carry some of the burdens which I cannot carry myself or alone.

Yes, I could absolutely use help, support, and those special things that only a man can bring to a life in mortality and to a home and family.

Yes, I would LOVE a man permanently entrusted with the sacred duty of wrapping his arms around me when I need to cry because I need to be comforted while I cry; and tickling, face rubbin, and kissing me mercilessly when I give him too much guff because sometimes I do need someone to rein me in . . .in a loving manner.

Yes, I would love the comfort and security of knowing that while I have his back, there is a man around me watching out for me and my best interest. I would love to know I am not alone and that I have someone here on my side when the going gets tough.

So, yes, I do indeed NEED a man to take care of me, and I don't have a problem in the world with that.

So what is my point? That changing our perspective and losing some pride can be a wonderful thing.

What was an 'A-HA' moment YOU had recently?


to which there was somewhat of a backlash of commentary stating that I may think I need a man but the truth is that really I just want one and don't really need one.

Yes, I do NEED a man. To use the 'argument' that I couldn't possibly 'need' a man because I have survived thus far without one is akin to saying that someone stranded in the desert with no water cannot possibly 'need' water because, hey, they have survived thus far without it. Yes, they have indeed survived a slow torturous death thus far, but make no mistake it is a slow tortuous death and it is not pleasant. They will, indeed, die without it, because they do in fact 'need' it. They are surviving, barely, thus far. . .they are 'making the best of it' thus far, but that can only take them so far before it will be a life and death situation.

I was once part of a true partnership. Instead of being stranded in the middle of the ocean, struggling to keep my head above water while I treaded water; watching as the sharks circle me; and trying not to keep swallowing sea water as the waves crash upon my head. . .I built a raft with someone and we were riding the waves together, safe from the sharks. We both could finally breathe. We slowly began converting our nice little raft into a yacht. Too bad the construction abruptly halted and I ended up getting tossed back into the storm-ravaged ocean again.

I was never so alive as I was when I was actively loving and being loved. . .and since that has been lost to me, a little piece of me has died every day.

We were not created to be alone, and that is doctrine. We cannot achieve Celestial Glory without each other and we were not intended to be alone for all of mortality and just 'use' each other as a free pass to Exaltation. The very things we learn and do within a relationship with one another are very key and necessary parts of the process in which we become Celestial.

Not all will leave this life with a partner, but that will be taken into account. I wonder what will happen to those who adopt the arrogant, short-sighted, and doctrinally-incorrect attitude that they don't 'need' anyone else for anything else and are just fine on their own. Isn't that akin to not doing their best to find and be a mate in this life? Couldn't that result in them not being found worthy of being given a mate there? I don't know but I sure don't want to take that chance. I also do not want to be living in a way and adopting an attitude which is doctrinally incorrect and teaching my child doctrinally incorrect attitudes.

Nothing in the Celestial realm is about being alone. Nothing. Eternal Marriage, Sealings, Eternal Family. . .all of it is about being together and how much we NEED each other.

It Is Not Good for Man or Woman to Be Alone by Sheri L. Dew

Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan by Elder David A. Bednar

Eternity is not some distant point in the afterlife. . .it is now and continues on through then.

Can we make do? Or course. It is one of the qualities He has blessed us with. Does that translate to us not 'needing' each other? Nope. Not by a long shot.

There were later several men who posted something to the effect that 'needing' should not be confused with 'inability to function without'. . .and yes, we do 'need' each other even though we also can and sometimes do 'function without' each other.

I appreciate their support and concise wording.

Thanks guys!

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