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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Perceptions of Men vs Women

A scan of the brain using fMRIImage via WikipediaI tend to believe that while we are ‘all the same’, there are times when men and women are just ‘wired’ differently. Today, I was part of a real-life, funny example of that.

My son’s cell phone broke, so we went to the local Radio Shack to replace it. They know us there, and they are just really wonderful and knowledgeable about everything electronic.

Today, one man and one woman were working. We were all looking at the phones (My teen and I were the only customers), and talking about the differences. The saleslady and I both commented on how much we liked the small blue phone. My son said, “But, it looks too girly!” We laughed. Then I asked the salesman what he thought. He hesitated, but my son prodded him. The salesman laughed and then agreed that he thought it looked ‘too girly’ as well.

Then, both males went for a neon green phone. They told us that it looked more ‘masculine’. The saleslady and I laughed, and almost at the same time commented that we thought that was the phone that looked ‘girly’.

The moral of the story is that even though men and women are ‘equal’, they may well view the world through very different perceptions. There is no right or wrong about this, it is just something that needs to be understood, accepted, and worked with.

When the focus is on working together rather than ‘being right’ a lot more can be done and many arguments can be avoided.

But, don’t take my word for it. There are studies that back up the fact that men and women really are ‘wired’ differently:

Brains Wired Differently in Men and Women by Andrea Thompson. September 8, 2008, 5:02 pm ET

Emotional Wiring Different in Men and Women April 19, 2006, 10:05 am ET

Men and Women: Are We Wired Differently?
Today Show/MSNBC – Health. (Updated) December 14, 2006

Men and Women are Wired Differently by Dr.Gary and Barbara Rosberg
Marriage, 2000.

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Monday, January 5, 2009

The Attractiveness of Confidence

Photo © Lynn Davis
Definitions of confidence on the Web:
• assurance: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities; "his assurance in his superiority did not make him popular"; "after that ...
• a feeling of trust (in someone or something); "I have confidence in our team"; "confidence is always borrowed, never owned"
• a state of confident hopefulness that events will be favorable; "public confidence in the economy"
• a trustful relationship; "he took me into his confidence"; "he betrayed their trust"
• a secret that is confided or entrusted to another; "everyone trusted him with their confidences"; "the priest could not reveal her confidences"

In dating and relationships, confidence is very attractive and is one of several very positive and necessary character traits generally required to have a healthy, happy relationship.

I found this fabulous article about confidence that explains what confidence is and why it is so attractive:

What Makes a Self-Confident Person Attractive? By Marti Yarbrough.

(*Note: the article concludes on page 2, with page 3 being the bibliography)

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Friday, January 2, 2009

Slow Fade – The Slow Destruction of Self and Relationships

I heard this song for the first time last night, and it immediately caught my attention. The song points out how easy it is to move away – one little moment at a time - from any relationship or goal.

As the song says, “people don’t crumble in a day”. The destruction of dreams and relationships don’t happen in just one day – there is something that led to it, one little step at a time. Those little things usually involve justifications and desensitization, as well.

When we have a clear vision of what it is we want, and we stick with the desire to have that – even when its not easy – it is easier to stay on track. Its when we are unclear, unsure, and put other things first that we stumble, crumble, and fall.

Casting Crowns – Slow Fade (posted on AOL video)

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Thursday, January 1, 2009

Free eHarmony Weekend Jan 1- 4, 2009 - Happy New Year!

eHarmony.Image via WikipediaWhile on Facebook, I spotted an ad for a free weekend on eHarmony.

The link below will take you to a sign-up page that requires your first name and zip code along with some other innocuous information. Beyond that, I don’t know what you will be asked to do, though I assume from prior experience with eHarmony at the least you will be required to take the l-o-n-g quiz and fill out basic profile information.

They may or may not require upfront credit card information. If they do, be sure to print out the cancellation policy information so you will know how to protect yourself from being billed if you decide to cancel after the free weekend.

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