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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Hey PlayaDude! What Makes a Friend a Great Marital Choice?

{{Potd/2007-03-1 (en)}}Image via Wikipedia I am starting off today's post by giving a "shout-out" to an awesome man in my life. *Hey PlayaDudue!* This man went from being a disastrous date several years ago to one of my best friends now. Its amazing how much can happen when kindness, communication, and forgiveness exist. I do not know what I would do if I did not have this man’s friendship and support in my life.

This and another situation in my life got me thinking about the different types of relationships we create in our life, and how much relationships change over time. As humans, we are ever changing, so people being able to stay together for 25+ years boggles my mind. It demonstrates to me that it is very much possible in our flawed human state to commit to one person, to put the good of another person and a relationship ahead of our own whims, and that the couple who selflessly loves one another stays together.

Counting my best friend who passed away recently, I have had three male best friends in this stage of my life that I could never be with romantically, but I do not know how I would survive without them in my life platonically.

They say you should marry your best friend, but all three of them would disagree with that in terms of us. I would have to agree with them. So, what then is the ‘thing’ that makes a best friend a great marital choice vs. just a best friend? I think for me, I can easily be friends with people who are very different from me. However, when it comes to building a committed romantic relationship and future, I think you really need common goals and values - I know that I do.

What do YOU think? Do you have friends you could marry?

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

You Don't Flirt With Me

text is ambiguous „would it be bad of me, if I...Image via Wikipedia I was told that recently by a gentleman with whom I have been communicating.

It really took me by surprise. I am usually told I am a huge flirt, and 'accused' of flirting when I am simply conversing.

First, I thought about what expectations the gentleman was putting on me and our conversations. Part of me wondered, based on a couple of comments he made previously, if by 'flirting' he actually meant something else - like talking about things I do not feel comfortable talking about with men I have not even gone out with - much less am not involved with.

Then I thought about my level of attraction to him and realized I had been keeping the tone a little more 'friendly' and 'casual' than I do with guys I am seriously interested in getting to know better.

The final thought was that perhaps part of me just doesn't want to date or get involved right now, and actually has stifled the flirty side of my personality. That thought made me feel a little sad, but as I considered what is going on in my life I realized that at least for now, perhaps it is for the best.

How flirty are you and what affects your level of flirtatiousness?
How do YOU define 'flirty'?

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Monday, August 11, 2008

The Art of Manliness and a FREEBIE

In Storms & Crossroads They Stay TogetherImage by HckySo via FlickrI stumbled across "The Art of Manliness" and I have to admit that I totally love it! Today I discovered they have a FREE guide for 2008. I downloaded it and it is fabulous.

I am a bit 'old fashioned', so these common-sense guidelines for courteous and gentlemanly behavior really appeal to me. I am totally hot for gentlemen.

But, I am old-fashioned, and I am a woman. I would love to know what the men around here think of The Art of Manliness and the guide.

Also, I would like feedback from the ladies - what do YOU think about the site and the guide?

Personally, I think men and women should always treat each other with such courtesy - I don't think either gender should settle for less than being treated in such a manner.

The Art of Manliness

Guide to Being a Gentleman in 2008 (PDF)
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Married versus Single: Who is Healthier?

The Journal of Health and Social Behavior has released interesting findings in the September issue regarding the health of marrieds versus singles. Especially of interest are the results for married men versus never married men.

Read more about it:
Study: Health Gap Closing Between Married, Single People

The article from the Journal in full is available for purchase HERE.

Subscribe to the Journal HERE.

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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Website Reviews Online Dating Services and More

Over in the sidebar on the right I have a widget for DateRater. It updates as new reviews are added to the DateRater site.

I have come across another online dating service review site, however this one does not have a widget - you have to go to the site. The website offers consumer reviews about a multitude of things, including online dating services.

Online Dating Site Reviews

For now, I will put a link in the sidebar under the DateRater widget. If viewpoints offers a widget in the future, I will add it for you.
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Sunday, August 3, 2008

Birthdays and Dating

After the party.Image via WikipediaToday is my birthday, and it got me thinking about how birthdays affect dating.

If you are an online dater, some sites will mark your profile with a birthday symbol, or 'announce' your birthday in some other way. This can drive more traffic to your profile and elicit contact with people who may become new friends or more.

However, your birthday also increases your age which may put you in a new demographic for searches on the dating sites. This can increase or decrease your views and contacts significantly. Additionally, it can affect the kind of contact you get. For example, I have some friends who 'freaked out' when their age change suddenly garnered a lot of attention from men who were 20+ years older than them. That kind of age difference creeped them out. What a difference a day makes!

Let us not forget the birthdays that come along while you are dating someone. If you are already in an established relationship its not as big a deal, but if you have barely started dating someone it can prove to be awkward. Do you ask them out for their birthday, send them a card or buy them a small gift? Is that appropriate or pushy? If you are the birthday person, do you invite your date to your birthday party or even tell them about your birthday? Is that appropriate or does it seem like you are 'hinting' for 'cash and prizes'?

I also have some friends who celebrate their birthday each year by changing their birthday online, the day before. For some this keeps them the same age. Others seem to be aging backwards.

How do you handle birthdays and dating?
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Friday, August 1, 2008

Religious Restrictions on Singles

Location map for Saudi ArabiaImage via WikipediaI think with any religion or culture there will be ongoing misunderstandings about life in it. One I have repeatedly found with being LDS is how prevalent the theory is that the church ‘controls’ its members.

I have never found the church to do anything more than other churches do – counsel and ‘preach’ if you will to their congregants to live better, do better, and be better. Many churches have become far more politically active from the pulpit than the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has. For the most part, the church explains the guidelines, repeats them as needed, and allows members to decide how closely to the letter of the law or the spirit of the law they wish to live – as well as how to ‘interpret’ the gray areas – within reason.

So, when I read this article today about Saudi Arabia’s Islamic Religious Police, I had to chuckle to myself. Then I had to share.

Saudi Arabia Bans Sale of Dogs and Cats in Capital in Effort to Keep Sexes Apart

I have never heard the church tell single members anything about conduct and intermingling other than to remain chaste until marriage and to be courteous to one another always. Oh, and that its best to not start dating until you are 16 ( advice not commandment – but great advice, by the way). In fact, our church has been making great strides in helping singles in their single life, to recognize they do ‘fit in’ in a church that is so heavily focused on ‘family’, and to help them have appropriate venues and activities for intermingling. I have been thrilled to see these changes, and hope the trend will continue.

So, back to the Saudi Arabia story – what do you find to be useful as a ‘chick’ or ‘dude’ magnet? As a ‘chick’ I have found that having a vehicle that is ‘loaded’ and has 4wd works well as a ‘dude magnet’. So does having ultra long hair. Lol.
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