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Saturday, October 6, 2007

'Preferences' Vs 'Shallow Attitude'

Photo by Roxana Gonzalez

On another site, yet again the battle raged on about the shallow attitude some have in dating, and in life in general; and the justifications, rationalizations, and excuses were flying like mad. What irritated me most was people trying to use the gospel as a means of justifying their bad behavior and attitude.

First, let me say that there is a huge difference between having a preference and being shallow. A preference is just that. It is a preference. It is open-ended. It is open-minded. It is NOT judgmental, it is a part of having the ability to choose and finding something we LIKE better than other choices in that category. It doesn't mean we don't like other things or that we think only this one thing is 'good' and all other thing are 'bad'. It is just the thing that is tops on that particular list.

Shallow is an completely different matter. Shallow involves being judgmental. It is saying one thing is good and all other things are bad; or that one particular thing is bad while all the other things are good. It is using something very superficial as a means of determining the worth or value of something or someone.

For example, if you have a 'preference' for blondes, that just means blonde hair appeals to you more than brunette hair. You will still date brunettes, and you don't see anything about blonde men/women as being 'better' than brunette men/women. You just find yourself more attracted to blonde hair than brown hair. No biggie.

Shallow is when you believe that only blondes are worth dating; that they are superior to their brunette counterparts. Shallow is when you believe brunettes are somehow deficient or not worthwhile simply by merit of having brown hair.

See the difference?

So, when the debate ensued, my dander got up and this is the resulting rant (which I did not post there, but saved to use as my blog here:

I am sick to death of the excuse that 'well that is just how men/women are'. That is total BS. Regardless of what any of us as individuals deal with on a primal coding level, we, each and every one of us, have a divine responsibility to become more than we are; and to do all we can to overcome our baser natures, and strive to become more eternally and celestially-minded.

I am so sick of this member-endorsed but doctrinally incorrect malarkey that regularly gets spewed and further propagated.

Ya got preferences, cool. But don't blame the church for your shallow attitude. And, yes, there is a difference between preferences and a shallow attitude.

If you are putting shallow wish list items ahead of those things of eternal value, guess what: Yes, you are indeed being shallow and displaying incorrect priorities and values. Either embrace it or change it; but don't tell those who point this out or are different that they are being 'intolerant' or are 'wrong'. You are doctrinally in the wrong. Deal with it.

Oh, and if you are interested in someone who won't give you the time of day because you don't match their 'shallow' wish list, or their 'preferences' (again: two different things). .. MOVE ON. Stop complaining, whining, bashing them, and nagging them to 'change'.

They are who and what they are; just as you are who and what YOU are. Clearly the two of you are not a match, so find someone who isn't shallow, and has a person like YOU on their wish list.

You'll be more apt to find an eternal match that way.

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