Thursday, August 9, 2007
Second: GETTING TO KNOW DANI
So, you've seen some of the men I have been attracting, and I am sure you are asking yourself what kind of person I am to attract such men. Well, even if you aren't, here is some insight into the warped brain of moi.
AN INTERVIEW WITH DANI
THE SEXY-VOICED GREEK GODDESS OF MEN'S FACIAL HAIR
Thanks for stopping by. Please, have seat. May I offer you something to eat or drink? No? OK but if you change your mind, please let me know. (smile)
Well, I know you're here to find out a little about me, so I'm ready whenever you are. Ask away, Handsome.
Q-How did you get the nickname "Dani, The Sexy-Voiced Greek Goddess of Men's Facial Hair"?
A-(laugh) Oh THAT! Well, it started with the fact I am Greek. . .1/8th to be exact. I used to play in the chatroom here and a friend in there began addressing me as "The Greek Goddess" because of my heritage. Soon, my love of facial hair on men came to be known and so that got added to the title. Then, after getting repeatedly told I have a sexy voice, it was suggested. . .(laugh) OK, STRONGLY suggested that the sexy voice thing be added to the title. So there you have it: the birth of "Dani, the Sexy-Voiced Greek Goddess of Men's Facial Hair".
Q-I understand there is something about your height and boots you usually tell people?
A-I am 5'10" til my boots come off! (laugh). I am 5'6" without them, but since I always wear them and got 'complaints' from dates about my actual on-the-date height being significantly taller than my listed height of 5'6" I decided to change it in my profile to my boot height, and add the qualifier that it is with my boots on. (smile)
Q-I noticed that you don't display your 'ideal match' criteria on a certain dating site. Why not, and what is it?
A- Well, that is because I don't really have an 'ideal match' criteria. . .at least not one that is compatible with the criteria they list here. (smile) The things that are most important to me are who a man is, as in his character; how he treats me and others; and what we have in common as in how close to equally-yoked and on the same path we are.
Q-What would you say are your best qualities?
A- (pause) I guess the things I hear the most from others is that I am genuine, kind, selfless, loving, intelligent, fun, witty, creative, great partner material, a fantastic mother. . .(laugh) the list goes on. It's really nice to get so many truly generous and flattering comments from others. It's wonderful to know that is the way I am perceived by others: that that is how I present myself. It's how I try to be and how I feel. . .so to know it matches up is really great.
Q-What are you looking for?
A-I am looking for a meaningful long-term relationship which will eventually become an eternal union. This means I am not a 'casual dater' nor do I rush into anything with anyone. I do practice 'singular focus' dating, which is dating one person at a time so I can get a truly accurate picture of them and of how we are together; but that is by no means a commitment or a relationship. It's just the way in which I can honestly and accurately make the decision about whether there is something there with that person to pursue.
Q-What are the traits you seek in a date or mate?
A-I look for chivalry, honesty, integrity, fidelity, consistency, an affectionate nature, spiritual maturity, intelligence, a hearty and kind sense of humor, a love and devotion to his children . . .which will come second to his wife when married, responsibility, compassion, being quick to forgive. ..a lot of different things. I guess that sounds like an impossible list. . .and I don't expect any man to be 'perfect', or have all of those traits. . .I don't even have some list I check off. I just go with the flow and see if the overall package of who the man is enhances who I am or drags me down. I look to see if I buoy him up or drag him down. I look at if we are more when we are together. .. or less. It's really the whole picture I look at.. .not some list of 'have to haves'. (smile) My track record shows I am not looking for 'Mr Perfect'. ..but 'Mr Hey We Are So Awesome Together'. (smile)
Q-You almost sound too good to be true. Surely you have some fatal flaw. What is it?
A-Do I have to pick just one? (Laugh). Well, I am so far from perfect even the Hubble Telescope can't see it. (Smile). I am just surrounded by some really amazing people who see past my flaws and love me in spite of myself. I guess one of the most common 'deal breakers' about me is that I have my own set of brass cajones. I don't take a lot of guff, and I don't intimidate easily. I can be pretty fearless and assertive when the situation calls for it. I am not confrontational by any means, but I will absolutely stand up for what I believe is right, true, and correct. . .regardless of who it is to. That can be a bit off-putting to a lot of men. I am an alpha female who can be appropriately submissive and passive with an alpha male who treats me like a partner rather than a conquest or inferior being. I get told I am intimidating by a lot of men. They say it is because of my cajones and because they perceive me as being 'together', 'confident' and 'intelligent'. I thought those were all good things, but apparently not (Laugh).
Q-In that vein, what do you find most frustrating about dating or men?
A-(Pause) I take most of it in stride, and I accept people are going to interact with me in a way different from how they may interact with others. The thing I run into most is what I consider an attitude problem. I think a lot of people in general, having been burned, now have their priorities screwed up and out of a deep desire to self-preserve do screwy things that sabotage themselves and their relationships. . .or their chances for a healthy happy relationship. I am certainly not perfect, but being aware of this, I work really hard not to be guilty of it myself. Now, I just need to find someone else who does that: tries to keep things in perspective, on track, and in the right priority. No games. No lies. No holding back. Just pure unadulterated interest and pursuit. . .mutually and with as little fear as can be mustered. . and with lots of open honest communication.
Q-So, what do you feel is the right priority?
A- Heavenly Father first. Then making ourselves a great partner. Then seeking out someone compatible who has the qualities and character it takes to make a lasting loving relationship. We have to BE a great partner before we can expect anyone to be a great partner to us. We need to learn to be selfless and committed to making it work. Then find someone else who is the same way. When you are selfless you may not 'require' or 'expect' the other person to put you first, but the natural and eternal laws of having a healthy happy relationship demand that you be equally-yoked. . .which means they have to put you first as well or it just won't work.
Q-What would be the best way for a man to court you?
A-First, his interest needs to be strong and genuine. If I am just one of several/many he is 'interested' in. . if I am not #1 by FAR in his interest list. . .or the only one he is truly interested in, it just isn't worth my time. That is just common sense. He would be better off focusing on the one who really does have his eye, than to play games with me. Second, he needs to make it really clear to me consistently in word and deed that his interest is strong and genuine. Games, evasiveness, vagueness, not keeping me in the loop: those things all say 'NOT INTERESTED' in very loud and clear terms and will elicit from me a 'buh-bye'. I try to be very mindful and respectful of a man's feelings, time, and resources. I expect the same in return. . .and frankly, won't settle for less. (Smile)
Q-So, a man needs to pursue you with vigor or not at all?
A-(Laugh). Ok. I guess that is a really good way of putting it. (Smile) He should know, though, that if I am interested back, he won't have to pursue too vigorously too long. . . .I am really good at tripping and falling into the arms of the great man nearest me. . .(Laugh)
Like what I wrote and want to buy me a cherry coke?