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Thursday, August 9, 2007


Photo by Chance Agrella
The Shift in Values
It seems to me that in these last days there has been a tremendous shift away from 'traditional' family values. While I am grateful for those changes which are more family-oriented and are closer to Gospel teachings; I am seeing more and more that the changes actually are destructive to the home and family. . .and by means of 'worldly wisdom' seducing people further and further away from what we know to be true and correct.

There seems to be a 'disposable' or 'easily replaceable' attitude when it comes to member of the opposite gender in relationship situations. How many of us are so very quick to 'next' someone over the slightest infraction/misunderstanding?

This attitude does not lend itself well to the ideal of making a lasting and loving eternal relationship. Heck, it prevents one from ever even starting!

The Green Green Grass of. . .someone else's yard!
Then there is the candy store mentality of sampling as many 'sweets' as possible because, 'Hey, someone better is surely out there'. With that attitude, that 'someone better' probably will find 'someone better' than you.

It seems to no longer be about finding a good person with whom there are shared values, goals, etc. . .with whom there is mutual attraction. Now it is about 'perfection' in them while failing to strive for it in ourselves. Trust me when I say this. ..this candy store/greener grass/someone better will come along attitude is NOT in accordance with the Gospel or in becoming 'perfected'.

Commitment Phobia
More and more seem to be unwilling or emotionally unable to commit on any level to anyone romantically. Some are lured into believing they are in a committed relationship while the other person is out looking for that greener grass still.

Many cite past experiences for their lack of willingness to commit. They are, in fact, punishing all who come along for the mistakes of the previous one(s). .. or even their own lack of good sound judgment.


Most disheartening to me of all is the attitude that has swept over singles that in marriage everything has to be split 50/50 down the middle. Pre-nups, separate finances, separate last names, separate vacations, separate bedrooms, 'his' 'hers' 'yours' 'mine', and shared expenses are the norm now rather than the exception.

How can that build or lead to an eternal union? My understanding of an eternal union/family is one that is a whole unit. .. not two roomies splitting the bills, legally engaging in sexually relations, and raising their children as if they are two separate families.

What is the point of being sealed with that attitude?

I keep hearing from men that they are not looking to see if THEY can support the woman, but if the woman is making enough to split the bills if they married.

Call me old-fashioned and a gospel purist, but I like it better when the man is looking to see if he can support the woman and the children: when he is actively engaged in being in a position to support a family. . even more so if the man has child support obligations and meets them in full and on time each month. . .without complaint.

And, for the record, I have no problem whatsoever contributing financially to the pot if need be. . .but I won't be a legal-sex roomie who splits the bills. Period. I want an eternal union: not some financial/sexual 'arrangement'.

Dating Frustrates Me
The above cited reasons are the biggest reasons that dating frustrates me. I try to understand and live gospel principles; and while I am so far from perfect the Hubble Telescope can't even see it from where I am, I am trying to create a celestial family and home. .. and when I am in a serious relationship I try to create a celestial relationship, as well. This has apparently become a 'flaw' in me as far as dates/potential mates are concerned.

I live and expect monogamy, honesty, commitment, and a true joining of hearts,homes, and families.

I am outdated and an oddity, apparently.

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