Photo by Lynn Davis
One of the sites I gig search on also has a blog about freelance writing. The latest post was about freelance writers not being understood or taken seriously. While it has been encouraging to see I am not alone in this struggle, something really disheartening happened, too.
Married woman after married woman is not getting support from her husband. They are getting grief about dinner not being on the table and the house not being spotless: but the men are NOT pitching in, they are NOT doing anything once THEIR job is done, and they tell their wives they can't quit their writing jobs because the income is needed.
These women are hurt, frustrated, and feel like they are being treated unfairly. I have to say I agree with them, and this very issue of roles and responsibilities is one I hit a wall about in dating time and time again.
Many men don't get 'what I do' all day and think 'cos I am home all day (WORKING, AHEM) that there is no reason why I could ever possibly get behind on anything around the house, or not have time to make 3-5 course meals daily.
Guess what? With all that is involved in running my own writing and consulting business, plus doing the actual work itself, including meeting deadlines and dealing with editors and rewrites; I put in more time working than most people. Just because my location is my home office, it doesn't mean I am not working, or can just drop everything to do other stuff: I mean seriously. . .can others do that from their office? Just stop in the middle of work and say, "well, time to put a pot roast in the oven, pick up the dry cleaning, and have some playtime with my kid. See ya later!" ? I think not. So why is it so hard to see that the same thing applies here?
Yes, if I do it right, when I can take a break, I can put something in the crockpot or play online for a few minutes. However, for the most part, I get so 'in the groove' when I am writing and have so much stuff I have to accomplish each day, that I cannot be distracted and I block out everything else. .. including the need to eat, dress for the day, etc.
Regardless of the location, work is work and sometimes I honestly don't think I will ever find a man who will 'get that' and be supportive of this if I need to work when we marry.
This brings up another disheartening issue I run into: the men who, having been burned, now believe they no longer need to be the provider for the family. They are seeking a 'legal-sex roomie' to split the bills with. They have no desire to make sure they can adequately provide for the family unit, and expect the woman to work a full-time job. Most of them also expect her to still do all those 'wife and mother' things as well like take care of the kids, cook, clean, run errands, etc.
That is so contrary to what we know to be true in the Gospel and so wrong on so many levels. . .and yet it is commonplace in the world of aged 30+ singles. This brings me to one more reason why I am thinking more and more that an eternal union created in this life on Earth just ain't in the cards for me.
That's ok. It isn't what I planned for my life, by any means. .. and it does create an ache in my heart over the potential that is lost. I have so much love and support and . . .well, I have so much to give. . .so much that I want and need to give that the reality of my life here being alone is a bit discouraging.
But, more than anything I know I am loved and that somehow someway it will all be made right. . so onward I trudge, hoping that I can show grace under fire, and return home to the loving arms of our Father in Heaven with honor.
Like what I wrote and want to buy me a cherry coke?