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Monday, August 13, 2007

Cheaters: Sick but Fascinating

While I was perusing Youtube, I saw some clips from the show Cheaters. Sickly fascinated, I had to laugh at some of the stupidity spewed from the mouths of those busted in the act. Let's face it: even when there is hardcore proof, cheaters will lie and deny 'til they are blue in the face about what they did and why.

Some classic lines out of the mouths of the cheaters:

"I didn't mean to, baby"

"I love YOU. . . I want to be with YOU"

"I was just being a good neighbor, baby"

As he was running pantless away from a van where he was caught in the act with another woman yells "I am not here" (he told his girlfriend earlier that he was going to be helping his mother that evening)

"I'm old school g and I'm gonna do this while I am with you" (when asked by his wife why he was cheating on her. Then he told the host) "I know how to please her and what she won't do the next one will"

"You're never home" (said to the man who is working to support her and their young daughter: she did NOT have to work. . .he made it so she could be home with their daughter)

"After two years he doesn't make me happy anymore" (said by above woman to Cheaters host. When he asked her why she didn't just tell him. . .why she cheated instead her reply:)
"Well, I would have if he had come to me and asked"

(Tells the girlfriend of SIX months whom he has been sleeping with that his wife is dead, then when confronted tells his very much alive wife) "Forgive me honey. . .I had a moment of weakness"

So what is the point of my post? Well, it wasn't to make fun of cheaters. . .it was to point out a few things.

If you think something isn't right with the person you are involved with, chances are you are right. Check it out sooner rather than later.

If someone's behavior changes suddenly and/or dramatically it is FOR A REASON. Don't brush it off. Something is up. It may not be cheating; but in the dating/married world, it usually is.

If you find out they cheated, don't believe for one second what comes out of their mouth next. They have already lied to you in order to cheat on you. Why would they be honest or fair with you now when they are found out? Trust me, they won't be.

If they 'hide' things from you like alternative ways to contact them, where they live, where they work, their family, etc. . .chances are they are hiding something bigger: like a relationship with at least one other person.

If someone is GENUINELY and truly in love with you, they will make it very clear in word AND deed that they are. They will share themselves and their life with you. They will make time for you. If they are doing less than that, chances are they are not as in love with you as they want you to believe.

An Australian service called 'Spousebusters' follows suspecting cheating spouses. When asked how often the people they follow are actually cheating, the answer was 95%. It was added that by the time they get involved it is usually just to confirm what is already known.

My personal experience with cheating in dating is that once upon a time I was in a relationship with a man who gave me reasons to be suspicious of his fidelity. When I finally decided to check it out rather than continuing to give him the benefit of the doubt, I found out my instincts were correct. He was cheating. . .and how! His family confronted me at a family party with what he was doing. . .told me to dump him and that I was too good for him. (They were careful to add that they didn't want me to dump them, just him! Laughing) Talk about timing! I had already gathered evidence and was going to dump him that very evening! In their defense, they confronted him first and told him to straighten up. When he did not, they felt they had no choice but to intervene in order to prevent further pain/hurt to me. It was not the first time he cheated and they couldn't bear to stand by and say nothing while he did it to me.

He always told people, including me, his friends, his co-workers, his neighbors, his family, and his kids how good I was to him. They always agreed with him. He had no complaints about how I treated him, how well I met his needs, how much he felt loved by me, etc. Even when confronted, he had no complaints and did not even attempt to blame me for his despicable behavior. So, why did he cheat? His words were that he decided he just wasn't ready to commit to one woman, but he didn't want to lose me.

Like what I wrote and want to buy me a cherry coke?

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