Photo by Chance Agrella
Perhaps the holidays are bringing this out more in the people around me, but a common theme I am coming across right now is people wondering what they have to offer a potential significant other. The list they formulate of ways in which they fall short can be great.
Most recently several male friends expressed some very deep and tender feelings about how they feel 'undesirable' as a mate due to financial/work situations they are each currently experiencing. They had other things on their lists, but the financial/work thing was at the top of both lists.
It breaks my heart to see anyone in such pain and isolating themselves, yet, in many ways I can understand where they are coming from.
I understand it is a little different for men than women, with the 'pressure' to be the provider and all . . .but many of us struggle with those same thoughts and feelings - wondering what on earth we have of any value to offer any one.
They say there is someone for everyone and they say there is a time and season for everything. I don't know what the answer is other than I know we all have value and worth in His sight - and sometimes that may have to be good enough (I am not being blasphemous here - I think you know what I mean).
Maybe that is part of it - learning how to let that be enough and to not worry so much about what society or our own insecurities and doubts say about our worth and value.
I am reminded of the book (I forget the author and title - I'll add it when it comes to me) which explained that just like the actual dollar amount of tithing we pay may be different from the dollar amount someone like Bill Gates would pay - it is all 10%. So, when we give of ourselves, it may not look the same as what others give - but if it is 100% of who we are and what we have, then it is sufficient, and all that we are expected and required to do.
How does YOUR list of what you have to offer compare with your list of how you fall short?