Photo by Lynn Davis
I once dated someone who was a fabulous guy in many ways. He also had some serious 'issues' that needed to be addressed. His family intervened at the same time I had made some discoveries about certain things that were going on.
I stopped seeing him months ago, but he has continued to try to be a part of my life. The good things between us were amazing. But his baggage is overwhelming. It could be dealt with and brought to a tolerable level - if he made the choice to do so. But, he wants to have his cake and eat it, too, and I am nobody's 'cake'.
Earlier today (Friday) he called, but didn't leave a message. It's been a while since he last tried to get into my life, and I thought perhaps he was finally over it. Apparently not.
He is a total extrovert, and extroverts need to be around others to feel alive. He takes it to the extreme of being unwilling to let anyone - including his former wives and girlfriends, out of his world. I have no problem being friends with men I used to date. I am still on friendly terms with most of them, and good friends with a few of them.
Sometimes, though, it is appropriate to let go. It doesn't have to be ugly or hateful - but the relationship does need to be severed, for whatever reason. This is one of those cases, and despite telling him that previously, he still persists in his attempts to keep me as part of his life. His behavior and choices are simply too toxic for that to be a good idea.
So, now I am in the position of having to decide which unpleasant option I am going to utilize to deliver the killing blow to the continuing contact. I know whatever I do will hurt him, but I also know it must be done. I am not the type to intentionally hurt anyone, but I am also not the type to allow this kind of thing to go on.
So, tonight I cry for what I know I must do - for having to hurt someone in order to 'do the right thing'. Just because something is the right thing to do doesn't mean it is the easy or pleasant thing to do.