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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Playing Hard to Get: Points to Ponder

1-Numerous people have posted on an LDS Dating site I belong to various situations they were in, detailing the behaviors and ‘signals’ the other person was displaying. To these, the overwhelming consensus of other site members has been, “He/She Just Ain’t That Into You”

It should be noted that these very same behaviors and signals would also fall under the ‘playing hard to get’ and ‘keeping some mystery’ categories.

2-Numerous people have posted on that very site various situations they were in that involved the object of their affection ‘going poof’ the very moment they finally returned some interest. The overwhelming consensus of members of that site was that the poofer was a game player who was not truly interested in anything but the ‘thrill’ of ‘the chase’.

Reality Check:

If you have to play games and manipulate someone to create a relationship, you don’t have much of a relationship to start with.

Only wanting someone because you don’t know for sure that they want you is not the hallmark of healthy behavior.

When you start with the game playing, how is someone supposed to know if you are ‘playing hard to get’ and ARE genuinely interested in them, or ‘playing hard to get’ because you are NOT interested in them?

When you ‘play hard to get’ how is someone supposed to know if it is part of your courting ritual or if you are only into the ‘thrill’ it offers?

As demonstrated by the differing views about 'playing hard to get' and 'keeping some mystery', there are all sorts of people in the dating pool who look for all sorts of things. Some want game players and manipulators. Some want straightforward and honest. It is a great thing as it shows there is someone for everyone. We don’t have to rewrite the core of who we are in order to find a great match.

Too bad we can’t have some kind of review where we can exchange info on others. Those who want the ‘playing hard to get’ crowd get those names and numbers from those who want the ‘straightforward and direct’ people, and vice versa.

The rest would be left to play amongst themselves. lol

As for me, well, I prefer the straight forward and direct approach. I hate games and I hate being put in the position of playing mind-reader. I hate both so much I won't do either.

A fun expression of my sentiments:

From 'Grease': You're the One That I Want by Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta

video from YouTube user katiedaily

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