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Thursday, March 6, 2008

Discouragement in the Dating World

Photo by Lynn Davis

This is a really difficult post for me to write because it touches on so many tender spots and I am not known for diplomacy skills. It is being written because of events which I have experienced, witnessed, and have been a listening ear in regards to.

Something that is being seen over and over in the dating world of LDS Singles is inordinate amounts of childishness, pettiness, and general disgraceful behavior. It is astonishing to me the lengths to which people will go in order to just catch someone's eye or get a date. No low seems to be too low any more.

Expectations have become totally unrealistic, and rather than address a need to strive towards perfection in one's own self, the demand is that the other person be perfect . . . and perfectly matched with the cardboard cutout image that has been created - even if it means forcing those 'standards' upon them.

Continually there are debates in regards to standards of moral behavior with criticisms routinely being placed upon the leadership and upon members who choose to live high standards of conduct. It is appalling to me to see and experience members of the church treating one another in this manner - and especially in regards to what are basic tenants of our faith that those who are baptized and endowed members vow to adhere to.

Divorced males leave the church in droves, and divorced females are more and more frequently resigning themselves to the hope that maybe in the millennium they will be able to marry 'a good man'. Both genders are making new people in their life pay for the 'crimes' they believe the former ones committed against them, and more and more common are 'casual dating', 'NCMO', and 'friends with benefits' (lds-style).

What is a single person who is trying to live gospel standards supposed to do? It is heart-breaking, it is frustrating, and it is becoming more and more discouraging.

So, aside from the general, 'have faith, pray, trust in the Lords timing, and keep trying' advice, what things do YOU do to deal with a dating world that is becoming less and less appealing?

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