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Saturday, February 6, 2010

Changing Priorities: Choosing to Be Single . . . and Happy

I haven't been posting a lot on any of my blogs because I have been incredibly blessed with being busy with work. This affects this blog and brings me to today's post for another reason: choices.

I came to a point in my life in which I had to make a choice between continuing to pursue dating and relationships in the hope of meeting a right match or to pursue my career and business dreams. While I believe it is possible to have it all in theory, there are times when it just isn't viable in practice. I found myself unable to give appropriate attention to both, so I had to choose.

After carefully weighing my options, as well as all the pros and cons of each, I chose my career. I chose to pursue building my financial circumstance to ensure I could continue to provide for my family now, as well as for myself in retirement.

At some point, things may change and I will be able to shift the bulk of my attention to dating and creating relationships. For now, however, I chose this path and I am happy on it, except for the occasional pity-party about not having anyone to share and build a life with.

The point of all of this is that you can be happy while you are single. I knew that before and I still believe it now. It is a very different thing from feeling like you have everything in your life that you want. But, if you can't be happy when things aren't perfect, will you ever be happy? Or will you always focus on what you don't have and what else you 'need' to be happy (rather than realizing that happiness, itself, is a choice)?

I still get asked out and I struggle with the reality that I just can't give these men the time and attention they deserve with everything I have chosen to put on my plate. Being single for the rest of my life is certainly not my ideal life course.

But, in my heart, I believe that this is the right path for me, right now. Maybe one day the timing will be right to shift priorities, but maybe that day will never come . . .or maybe a right match will never come, even if I do begin to date again.

I can't predict the future, so I deal with today . . and each day, one day at a time.

Its ok to put dating ahead of other things or to put other things ahead of dating. Only you, being brutally honest with yourself, know what the right path is for you and your circumstances. You can be happy in your circumstances, whatever they are - and should be. We were not meant to be miserable. Life is a journey, but what we make of that journey is completely up to us.

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