Reclaiming My Life

Photo by Richard Hampson
I realized today that I am sinking countless hours into something which is getting me nowhere except exhausted and frustrated. It has moved up the priority list in my life, at the detriment and expense of those things which are truly important to me.

Today, I began reclaiming my life. I thought about what my ‘ideal’ life would be like, and then applied ‘real-life’ to it. Today, I began my journey to living my life my way. I thought about the life I would want to have if I was married again . . .and compared it to what my life is like now. I realized that I have foolishly believed that my life would only change into what I wanted if there were a partner here to help carry the load. I was blind to the fact that without a partner here I can still have, in large measure, the day-to-day life I wish to have.

I started with making my teenaged son breakfast before school. With our schedules and other circumstances I have always been sure to have quick, healthy things for him to eat for breakfast, but it has very much been a ‘fend for yourself’ meal.

No more. While admittedly there will be days when I simply won’t be able to do it, one of my steps in reclaiming my life is to make breakfast for my son each morning. Today I made him two breakfast sandwiches: so he could eat on the way to the bus. He was running late and I knew he would not be able to sit down and eat today. Some days it may be as simple as a bowl of cereal, juice, and a cup of yogurt. Other days may be a full-blown breakfast feast. Regardless, it is important to me to do this act of love for my son.

He used to be able to get breakfast at school, but not anymore. In the mornings he usually is running late and will skip breakfast even if he has time to grab something. It is important to me that he eats in the morning, it is important to me that he starts of his day on a positive note, and it is important to me that he knows I love him. For us, this little thing will accomplish all of that.

I run my own business, and it has slowly infiltrated my life to the point that it is taking precedence over all else. No more. Starting today, I have set hours. Unless there is some urgent reason why I must work a little longer, or alter those hours, they are set.

I am from this point forward selfishly and ferociously guarding my life and priorities. I realized I have given ‘life’ control of my time. No more. While I will have to allow for unexpected circumstances, my life and my day is mine, and I will ensure that what I value most shows in how I live each and every day.

If ‘For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.’, then I want my every day to reflect that my treasure is God, Family, and Country. I want there to be no question in the minds of anyone observing my life, including myself, where my heart truly is.

Some will claim this is me applying the ‘Law of Attraction’. I think to a large degree the 'Law of Attraction' is grandiose bullpuckey designed to lead us off course, but that is another post for another time. What I do know is that I have the power and responsibility to create the life I want, in accordance to God’s Law and to His Holy Will. In humility and obedience to Him and His Will, with every allowance for ‘curve balls’, I can have my best life if I will do my part to ensure it.

What do YOU do to live your best life?

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Being Single: The Divorced Ones - Finding Balance

Photo by Roxana Gonzalez
When a divorce occurs, there are many things which happen. One of the biggest ones is having to carry all of the burdens alone. If children are involved, most commonly, one parent has sole custody. That parent oftentimes does not have backup. They are on their own for all of the child rearing, discipline, and care: with no partner backing them up to or with the kids. Even worse, and just as common: the rules are different between the two homes which is confusing for the kids, and which the children will take advantage of. This makes parenting even more challenging than it already is.

Just a few of the things divorced singles have to deal with, and usually more than one or two of these things are being simultaneously dealt with:

Custody and visitation issues and scheduling
Parenting alone
Being the sole provider for the household
Going to school to update job skills
Working full time, sometimes more than one job
Trying to find daycare
Severely stretched finances
Feeling overwhelmed with all the additional responsibilities and issues
Emotional issues personally and in the children

Those in leadership in wards, branches, stakes, regions, and in singles programs need to understand these things so they do not inadvertently add to the burdens already being carried.

Divorced singles absolutely need to be given opportunities to serve: they desperately need the blessings and the perspective-shift serving brings, as well as the spiritual boost that accompanies it.

However, they need compassion as to their particular circumstances, as well. They are usually overworked, financially-strapped, and without backup to help with the children. Transportation, time, expenses, and daycare are just a few of the obstacles that may be faced in the successful fulfillment of callings, and in participating in church singles activities.

This blog post is one in a series on Being Single. Through the run of this series, please give feedback regarding YOUR experiences with being single and LDS, or ask any questions you may have that I have not addressed.

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