Photo by Chance Agrella
The following, dear reader, is
a sampling of the kinds of men I have been attracting this year, in no particular order. Maybe you will recognize some of them. If any of them are you: take notes, then straighten up and fly right, Bucko!
Please note that I started off this year engaged. The engagement ended in January. That was the reason for my initial lack of selectiveness in who I dated early on this year.
Mr I Love You This man had a dozen different definitions for that phrase and used every one of them on me to try to convince me he had feelings for me. Too bad all the definitions meant the same thing: he was just trying to string me along while he played. Found out later he was saying those 'I love you's (which he claimed was soooo hard for him to say. . .and that he only said to me) to pretty much every woman he dated. And believe it or not, that was the LEAST of the troubles with this man!
Mr PoutyPants This man is a perfect example of the man who never matured. Pouty, sulky, and prone to tantrums when he doesn't get his way, it is pretty evident why he has yet to marry.
Mr Flake This man is a classic. Vague, indecisive, evasive, non-committal, ever-elusive: this man kept insisting in word he was totally into me. . .while he actions clearly said otherwise. An excuse for every occasion, he could explain away every incidence of his non-interest and some almost sounded plausible. But, over time, the excuses wear thin when the pattern continues or worsens.
Mr Mama's Boy The umbilical cord was never cut between this man and his mama. What mama says goes including how to rear his children, what job to work, what his wife will do, where he will live, etc. No woman has a chance with this man til mama kicks the bucket.
Mr Tightwad This man is the epitome of a cheapskate. First Date: BURGER KING! I kid you not. Why BK? So he wouldn't have to leave a tip. . .which when he does 'have' to leave one will never be more than $2 no matter how much the meal cost or how great the service. Those were his words. Again, I kid you not! Oh, and when I got the large drink instead of the small, he informed me with an angry glare that I could have gotten the small drink and a lot of refills.
Mr Big Spender This man spent the majority of the time bragging about his possessions, income, assets. . .to me and to everyone else within earshot. Then complained when the check came for the meal. It should be noted that he ordered the most expensive meal on the menu, plus all the 'extra's (for extra cost) they had. He was tight on the tip, too, after running that poor waitress to death.
Mr Obsessive/Needy This man was almost scary. He 'needed' my constant time and attention and was immediately swearing off other women and 'devoting' himself to me 'no matter what'. We had never met in person.
Mr Horndog Several of these appeared. Basically only think about and want to talk about matters of intimacy. Totally focused on being physical and my physical appearance/attributes. NO THANKS!
Mr Playboy Arrogant, cocky, and a total player; this man thinks so much of himself there is no room for anyone else to admire him. His way or no way seemed to be his motto.
Mr Second Time Around Several of these showed up: men who I previously dated, and then they came back around. There was a reason why we stopped dating, and in every case it still applied.
Mr Hit and Run Several of these came and went. This is the guy who comes on strong about interest and then goes 'poof' into the night for no apparent reason. But, we know the reason, don't we, ladies? They were doing the heavy hitting to other ladies at the same time and found one they liked better to play with.
Mr Confused The name says it all. He says he is confused and doesn't know what he wants. BELIEVE HIM. He is NOT lying. He is also NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. Seriously. Just walk away. Don't look back. Don't even try that psycho 'fix him' crap. Keep on walkin, girlfriend. ..keep on walking!
Like what I wrote and want to buy me a cherry coke?
