What Really Turns You On?

Photo © Roxanna Gonzalez
Now that you have fainted because of the headline, please bear with me - this post is not what you think.

I had a dream last night and it got me thinking about what really just gets to me in all the right ways - more than intimacy, it is a way that involves intimacy but is also tender and feeling very loved and loving. It is a way in which I feel an overflowing sensation of tenderness, appreciation, love, and attraction for the man in question.

In the dream, I was in a long-term relationship, and I was watching and listening to this man read his young daughter a story before bedtime. It really got to me, as those things always do. What really gets to me is to see men being tender, being helpful, and being in their element.

In my life, the times when I have felt the most attracted to the men in my life - the times when I have felt romantically, sexually, and otherwise totally 'into' them, have been when they have been washing dishes, cooking for me, doing other household chores (non-grumpily), working on the yard, working on the car/truck/motorcycle, being tender and fun with children, dancing with me, singing to me, spending quality time with me, serving others, and when they have been in their element. By in their element,I mean they are doing something they love like giving a presentation, playing basketball, etc. They are 'on' and 'in the zone'.

This all relates to my love languages. Mine are equally words of affection and acts of service. But, the words and acts aren't just directed towards me - when I see 'my man' offering genuine kind words to others, or performing acts of service for others, too - it really gets to me.

Its not about a man putting on an act or just doing those things to please me (or 'get some') - I need a man who is already just that way - those things just come naturally to him.

If you are not familiar with the Five Languages of Love, I suggest you check out this quick link. I really believe there is something to the love and apology languages, and have seen remarkable differences when I have applied it in my own relationships.

What do YOU think about the love languages, and what really gets to YOU? (Please keep it clean, folks)